It's A Pain

I'd hate to jump the gun, but I really don't think I will be staying in Chicago for very much longer. Everything just feels like a pain and not worth it to me right now. Getting a job at a salon WAS A PAIN, finding parking if I get to my apartment past 7 O'clock(which will happen most nights now) is a pain, driving when there is snow on the ground is a pain, soon to be working 7 days a week seems like it's going to be a pain, not having any friends is a pain, not seeing my nephews and nieces for their birthdays is heart breaking, having a roommate who I never see is a pain, public transportation isn't so much a pain as it scares the bejesus out of me to ride alone at night, and walking alone at night is terrifying to me. I'm really not sure what I was thinking when I decided to move here. I know I wanted out of my comfort zone but this is way out. I hate the cold, I hate not having a social life, and I really hate feeling unsafe.

Maybe I'm going to love the salon after I start but that's not the feeling I get in my gut. I feel like they gave me such a run a round. And then for someone that didn't really seem like they wanted me that much, they are demanding a lot of my time now. I like Sephora. Actually a lot. I like my team members, I like learning more about skin care and make up and I like seeing other makeup artists work. I wish I could work there more full time and less at the salon.

I think I needed this experience to open my eyes to what I really want for my life. What has most been on my heart lately is my desire to go to training to become a life coach. (Not sure how this is going to happen working 7 days a week.) I want to heal people. I want to take what I've learned in my life and use to help others live a better life. I'd love to have a house where I could do hair, make up, life coaching and a Photgraphy studio.

I'm trying and I will continue to try. I start at the salon this Thursday and I hope to keep my outlook positive, if only to see it as a learning experience.