I believe In Me

It is amazing what can happen in life when you believe in yourself. Doors open up that you never knew were there, people come into your life that make huge, positive impacts, and life just gets better.

Why does life get better? Because you believe it will. So many of us are stuck in the pattern of thinking that we are stuck where ever we are at the moment forever. We are only stuck there because we believe we are stuck there. Nothing frustrates me more than seeing someone limiting themselves in life because they are telling themselves stupid excuses of why they can't change or why things won't get better. Trust me I get it. I really do.

Over the last couple of years I have had some amazing people come into my life and tell me that I am amazing. Unfortunately, negative words from my past were still so loud in my head I couldn't hear what they were trying to tell me. But I am not the old me anymore. I haven't been for awhile but occasionally she likes to come back to visit. The moment that it really hit me that I needed to believe in myself was when I had Wendy Belanger (Pureology's Artistic Director) in my car driving to an event in KC. We were talking about life and what I wanted from my career, she turned to me looked me directly in my face and said, "Beavs, you know you're bigger than Kansas, right?" (I nearly wrecked my car) Because in the back of my mind I had been wanting to leave Kansas for a very long time but I never believed I was talented enough to make it somewhere bigger. I knew I was talented for my area, but I really just thought I was a big fish in a little pond. Those words changed my life forever. That's when I decided I had to make a plan to leave Kansas.

That's been a little over ago now. Also in that time I have been working on not being hateful. So much of my life was filled with hatefulness, resentment, jealousy and anger. I just decided those were emotions I didn't want to deal with anymore. Am I going to feel them from time to time? Yes. Absolutely. Everyone does. But I wasn't going to let them consume me anymore. What I discovered is that this makes some people so angry that they will take their anger out on you just because you're happy. What I discovered from that is that I don't need those kind of people in my life. I don't need people who don't believe in me. And I don't need people that I can't inspire to be better everyday with me. At the end of the day, that is what I want. To inspire people to live better lives, to be a better person and to help others be better too.

I made the choice to move to Chicago because I truly felt it was the next step on my journey to being a better person/stylist/educator/artist. I knew the only way to really get away from some of the negative things in my life was to move hundreds of miles away. While I have been here I have felt more happy than sad or stressed. Something that is very new to me. Especially since I am still unemployed. (Although my interview went really well today) I have been able to take this time off from working and really refocus my life and my energy to positivity. I know the move seemed sudden to a lot of you but in my mind, it really wasn't. All the events in life lead me to this moment of stepping out and showing the world that I can do this.

I'm not a religious person but I certainly believe what you put out into the world comes back to us. Maybe you think I've been drinking the spiritual kook-aid. Maybe you think I'm crazy. All of that is fine. I would rather be this way than constantly drinking the haterade. It is honestly such a huge weight off my shoulders to not be friends with some of the people who were bringing me down in life anymore.

My life is going to be great because I am going to choose to make it great.