Pureology Synergy 2011

I never thought that going to training for 4 days in California would so drastically change my life. I am truly a different person and have a whole new mindset about life! Before I left for LA I was frustrated in every aspect of my life. My newly ended relationship was a very complicated and frustrating situation, my life behind the chair was chaotic, my personal life was struggling because of finances and my life with my family, I feel has always had it's turmoil.

My friend Andi, that I met last year during my orientation picked me up at the airport on Sunday morning and then went to go look at a house she might be buying. (which was super cute) Afterward, we went to Hamburger Mary's for brunch.(They have drag queens as servers! Fun!) I then began to tell Andi how terrible my life has been and how I was ready to move or run away or just start over.(poor girl) She was very encouraging and told me that she thought I was a lot like a snake that is shedding it's skin and that I am just way too big for my skin right now and that maybe I just need to make a plan for what I want and what it is going to take for me to get there.(very sound advice) After brunch, I napped while she got a pedi. Later we started getting ready for our Colour of Pureology Soiree. Andi and I almost had the same dress! Hilarious! (we were called bridesmaids twice... not so hilarious) As the Soiree began, I was trying to make my way around the party talking to all my PureArtist friends that I don't see much and other Artists that I was yet to meet. It was an amazing time! We were given Tiffany's key chains with the Pureology logo on the back! (I almost cried)

On Monday we had our opening session and I can't even begin to describe the energy in the room! Everyone was so inspired and energetic! We learned about the future of Pureology and I am so excited to be a part of such a wonderful company. Our educator for the day was Ruth Roche and she taught us cutting techniques. She was an amazing educator. She is super funny and has the wonderful ability to laugh at herself! (Something I really admire)

That night we had a free night so we thought we would check out the pool even though it wasn't even 70 degrees outside. I initiated a handstand contest in the pool and all around drunken rowdiness. After the pool time several of us went to one of the resort restaurants and have some food and more drinks. Such a wonderful time getting to know some of the other Artists and how they are doing in their career with Pureology and behind the chair. Andi's boss gave us her room at the resort so we were able to stay for the next 2 nights. (amazing)

On Tuesday we had styling class with Wendy Belanger in the morning. I learned a lot of new techniques and can't wait to use them all. In the afternoon, we had a step up class with Michael Cole. That man is a genius! His class changed my life! We talked about our attitudes and how they shape our career. I had a huge Ah-ha moment realizing that maybe the reason I was not successful behind the chair was because I wasn't asking my clients to make me successful anymore. Another thing that was mentioned in our class was "We promote what we permit in our lives." I have allowed a lot of people to make me feel bad about myself in my life. Therefore, I stopped believing in myself and that I am worthy of having a good life. I literally, spent most of the class crying because everything we talked about was so personal to me. I knew that when I left the class that I had hit my rock bottom and that it can only go up from here.

That night we had a team building challenge. There were 12 different clues of where to go around the resort and once we got there, there was some sort of challenge we had to complete. (such as decorating cookies and pizzas, leading team members through mazes and balancing acts) Our team had a cheer and a ton of energy! We ended up winning! That was an amazing experience! The night continued with dinner and lots of drinks. I had a fellow Artist and and L'oreal employee come up to me and tell me what a inspiration I was. I was seriously speechless! Their words were so encouraging to me!

On Wednesday morning (final day), we spent it with Chris Baran. I have looked up to him for a very long time because during my apprenticeship we used his DVD's as training. Also, he was one of the first artists I saw at a show. His class was about how to facilitate a class but more about having the power in our lives.

The closing ceremony was very bittersweet for me because I was leaving inspired and newly motivated for life but I was still scared to return to my everyday life that was very unstable. Overall, The BEST 4 days of my life. My legs hurt from running, handstands and cartwheels, my abs hurt from laughing constantly, my eyes were swollen from lack of sleep and crying and my head hurt from way too much vodka!

I can not wait to see the benefits from this weekend and how it is going to change my life!

I'm Single Again

I had the feeling that this was coming. Adam and I relationship has been very hard since the beginning of the year and I really thought it was going to get better. After Adam went through my phone and my facebook a few months back I kinda wondered how much longer we could possibly last. We would have been together for 2 years on the 11th of this month. It was my longest relationship and one that I saw myself staying in for the long run until all of this happen.

About a month ago Adam went through the history of my computer and checked my email and facebook again. I can't even begin to describe how much it hurts to be with someone that doesn't trust you and has no reason not to trust you. I was not cheating on him nor did I have any intentions of cheating on him. After I found out that he had been looking through my stuff again I told him that I was done. He cried, begged and threw a huge fit for me to forgive him. How do you forgive that??? How do you just move on with someone who doesn't trust you? And if you don't trust me after 2 years, will you ever? I have to think no! He said that he was going to get help and he wanted to work through it. So I just kinda avoided things because I was getting ready to leave for Orlando. When I came back things really blew up and he decided he would move out to his parents because he didn't want to be somewhere where "He wasn't loved". We agreed that he could come back to the house to do his homework while I am at work and not to get in each others way. Unfortunately, he hasn't been able to do this. He has been here a lot when I am here and every time I see him, he starts a fight. He has an amazing way of making me feel like the bad person. He says things like "I can't be happy without you",
"It kills me that you don't love me", "It's like you don't even care about me" and "If you want to see me happy then you would just get back with me and work things out". The thing is that I don't want to work things out. I'm sick to death of fighting and feeling like I have to pick him up all the time. I don't want to be responsible for his happiness. I've run out of things to say to him because the only thing he wants to hear from me is that I want to get back together.

I haven't been able to sleep since we broke up because I'm not use to sleeping alone anymore and honestly, I'm terribly worried about him. I care about him and I always will but we don't want the same things and our lives weren't heading in the same direction. I think it's funny that now he is saying that he wants me to be myself, when during our whole relationship he tried to control and censor me constantly. It also scares me to have to date again. I was never good at the whole dating thing. The longest relationship before Adam was a few months and was never serious.

I'm honestly quite relieved to not be in a relationship anymore but I just wish that I could say or do something to help Adam move on and stop making me feel so terrible!