What Makes Me Feel Whole

I'm going to apologize now for this blog may just seem like a rambling of sorts. There has been so much going on in my life lately. People coming and going out of my life, events that have changed my life, things I have read that have opened my heart, and learning to be more loving.
What is have learned most lately, is how important it is to have a great support system. Many people find this at their work, church, school and other organizations. I am lucky enough to have a support system that I have acquired over the years. Some of my closest friends (Shane, Lacey, Julie and Audrey) I have known almost my entire life. I rarely see these 4 but when I do, we pick right back up where we left. We share in our successes and not so successful adventures. They get me.
This weekend, my college roommate Bri was back for a weekend from NYC. We went out and acted like we were 19 again. Bri and I only lived together for 5 months 9 years ago. Crazy to think that she is still in my life.
My Pureology family is my constant support in my career. Always inspiring me and pushing me further in my career. I started my journey with Pureology 2 years ago this month and met one of the best friends I could ever have. Andi, I am convinced, is my soulmate. She has so much wisdom, always knows the right thing to say and never let's me let go of my dreams.
I also have my newly acquired group of Lawrence friends (although somewhat disbanded for the next few months while Matt is away for work.) This group of friends welcomed me in as a complete outsider. I am older than almost all of them, maybe a little too crazy for most of them but they continue to invite me out with them.

My main support system are my clients. How lucky am I to get to do what I love 4 days a week and get paid to do it? I love getting to know my clients, building a relationship with them, and helping them feel better about themselves every time they sit down in my chair. Lately, I have had a little bit of negativity surrounding my career. Some opinions that I was not open to that really shook me. Within one week, I had a client tell me he would not be back because I lacked professionalism and customer service skills. (Even though I was not in the wrong) And an anonymous letter written to me, supposedly from one of my clients (not really sure about that though) saying that I don't care or know anything about them, I only care about myself. This is so far from the truth. I care greatly about my clients. I am a talker, always have been, always will be. In turn, most of my clients are talkers too. I love knowing what they have going on. It's not all about me like this person suggested. Those words hurt me so much. I think they hurt so much because I care so much for the people who sit down in my chair. I never want someone to have an unpleasant experience in my chair. Luckily, within this last week I have received 5 positive reviews from our email survey system. I am going to choose to focus on the positive and let go of that negativity.

The last few months have been interesting for my family. I wouldn't really say my family has been a support system for me, but things have been better as of late. My brother Matt is going through a horrible divorce and trying to get full custody of his kids. It has really shook my whole family up. No one in my family has ever been a product of divorce. I have tried to be there offering encouraging words to my brother as much as I can. When I was having my rough week he called to check on me. My problems are just a glimmer compared to what he is going through and yet he was calling to make sure that I was okay. He also told me that he loved me for the first time ever. I tell my friends I love them all the time but never tell my family. It made me feel so guilty. Of course, I said I love you back. Why is it that we have to wait until something is wrong in my family to learn to appreciate what we have. I am nothing like the rest of my family, but that is okay. I am trying to learn that although they don't really understand or accept a lot of my life I can still give my love to them.

Lately, music and books have really been a huge part of my life. I've never really taken the opportunity to see concerts that I have wanted to but this summer I promised myself I would. So just this summer I have seen Young the Giant, Alabama Shakes, Eletric Guest, Garbage, Fun., SilverSun Pickups, The Lumineers and going to see Florence + The Machine tonight. Good live music makes my soul happy. Being a former music major, it makes me miss singing so much but also makes me incredibly happy at the same time.
Two books that I have drawn a lot of wisdom from lately are Beyond Religion by the Dalai Lama and 5 Languages of Love. Beyond Religion is probably the greatest book I have ever read. It has become a manual of how I want to live my life. To look for happiness everyday, to give love to people even when they don't deserve it, to see others as humans just like myself no matter their background or religion, and to let go of the hatred I have held for some people. Reading this book made me think of 5 Languages of Love, which I read a long time ago. But it reminded me that not all people love the same way. The 5 love languages are; words of affirmation, quality time, acts of service, gift giving and physical touch. Every person in your life is going to give and receive love differently. My love language is words of affirmation, which is why negative feedback can ruin my day, week, month or year. I need positive words. I need people to love and support me. I've been called needy a few too many times in my life, but it really isn't that. I just need something from those people that they weren't willing to give. I have been trying to evaluate all the people in my life and see what love language I think they are. If you are interested to know what you are there is an online quiz you can take, just google 5 love languages.

Okay rambling over. Thank you to allow those that support and love me. My one request is that you help me on my quest to be more loving and help me focus on the positive.