Holidays, Vegas, LA and everything in between

I should start by saying that I hate the Holidays. Every year I dread them. I wish that I would come down with some major sickness that I would be forced to lay in bed from Dec. 24th-Jan. 1st. I guess that sounds a little dramatic but seriously, the holidays are not fun for me and never have been. I think it is so hard for me because it is virtually impossible for me to be myself around my family. I am so different from every single one of them, and instead of them embracing my differences, they feel the need to criticize them the entire time I am around them. It is extremely exhausting to be around people who "point out your flaws" on characteristics you have no desire to change. According to my family, my flaws would include: Being single, not having any children, being independent, being open minded, and having an opinion. If I wanted to change any of these things, I just would.

I was only home for Christmas for 2 days and that was about all I could handle. My brothers were especially harsh this year. It was my first Christmas in 3 years without a significant other and I guess they felt the need to keep reminding me of this. Also, the fact that there were 9 adults 5 children under the age of 5 and 4 dogs in one household is enough to drive anyone crazy. I left on Christmas day feeling very discouraged and not sure why exactly I go home.

I had been looking forward to my trip to Vegas and LA for close to 3 months before the trip. I was looking forward to being with my Pureology family again and spending some time with my dear friend, Andi. I can't really explain why, but my trip was less than I had hoped for. I think the reason Vegas wasn't as much fun as I wanted it to be was because I didn't feel well the entire time I was there. I had went Vegan a few weeks before and it was nearly impossible to be a Vegan in Vegas. So I tried to stick to mainly a vegetarian diet. I was absolutely miserable. I couldn't stay focused and had no energy because of this. I did learn some new techniques I can't wait to use and learned about a new color line that is coming out next month that I am so excited about. I was kind of discouraged to learn that the artists that I had worked under at the Denver show had decided to label me as a "drama queen and hard to work with". It was obvious when I saw those artists that there was some serious tension between them and I. I have a hard time apologizing for something, when I don't feel that I have done anything wrong. I know I need to make amends with these artists, but I have no idea where to begin.

My plans for going out to LA were to finalize my move to the LA area the end of May. Unfortunately, Natasha (the owner of the salon I would be working at and an Ambassador for Pureology) was informed of these negative opinions of me and I saw this as a huge set back. While I was there I took the time to sit down and talk to her about my move and where I see myself going within her salon and for Pureology. I won't say that my ideas were shut down but I don't feel like I had her full support. I am sure she just didn't want to give me false hope that it would be easy to move out there and become successful right away but it really made me think twice about if I was really ready to make that move. I absolutely loved the salon and could really see myself working in that environment. What I didn't love was the traffic, cost of living there, and how far away my friend that I would be living with, lives from the salon. I am going to post-pone my move until future notice. I really feel like there are steps I have to make with myself before I will be ready for that big of a step.

I am not giving up on my dream just yet, I just need to be more realistic on how I could set myself up for success.